Even in a little thing

Fri, 09 May 2008 10:43:22 GMT

Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts. I should have gone to Sydney and the funeral today, but I couldn't face it. I couldn't face testing more drinks, either. I'm sure I've done something with my day besides folding two sheets, but the day is gone and I can't recall where. I've drifted in and out of thoughts of Auntie Nyn, and most of the day has shaped itself around that.

Thinking back, today was folded (with the sheets) into lots of little segments. Two notable things (both related to fiction) and everything else was mundane. Not unhappy, just mundane. Some of it was very good, in fact, just not extraordinary.

This was just as well. I'm emotionally fatigued and I only just realised it. I also have a cold, but there's nothing special about that. It is winter, after all.

Tomorrow is a much bigger day. At the beginning of winter a friend helps me stock my pantry so that I can cope with all the colds and flus I get. We restock tomorrow. We will also look at stoves, in the hope that I can find one to replace my 93% dead one (the stove is entirely dead and so is the grill, but I still have 2 working electric elements) with reconfiguring the kitchen. This means that tomorrow I will feel energetic, whether I am or not. Either that, or I will curl into an afternoon nap when it's all over.

Thu, 08 May 2008 08:14:11 GMT

I cancelled today. Too much headcold (lots of sneezing, very good for certain muscles) and too much need to sleep. Right now, the screen is dancing a little jig before my eyes, so I know I'm not over it yet. I ought to like it when the computer screen makes me sea-sick, because then I can write about seasickness with great heart and feeling, but today I am supposed to be redoing an introduction for an editor who is - alas - completely right about what needs fixing. I do not want seasickness in the introduction. This means I'm doing sincere and careful thought in front of DVDs (The House of Eliot has costume notes for anyone thinking about Conflux clothes) Because the TV doesn't do jigs.

Wed, 07 May 2008 12:03:17 GMT

There is a reason for racing into cocktail testing after teaching today. I was putting off thinking about the death of a favourite aunt. I stopped testing for a bit and the memories have flooded.

I want to go to her funeral and I can't face it. Too many deaths recently. I guess I don't want to face this one quite so immediately. My sister rang me to talk about it, because she knew how I would feel and I wasn't ready for that, either.

My aunt was the youngest in a vast family, kid sister to my mother's mother. I knew her best in the 1980s, when we became quite close. I would go to afternoon tea in Bondi and she showed me her latest frilly skirt for square dancing and I admired her enviable talent for indoor gardening.

I would often bring a friend to meet her, usually an international student. We got on extremely well and bubbled at each other brightly. I didn't realise just how far our politics and views of the bigger world differed until she gave afternoon tea to myself and one of my closest friends. She couldn't forgive the war, but she liked Kazuko, who was welcome anytime.

We were at opposite ends of the political spectrum (I'm rather leftish and Auntie Nyn must have been the only Australian Jew who voted for Pauline Hanson), but Auntie Nyn was so adorable (I'm having an extraordinary amount of trouble with that past tense) that it didn't matter. I'll remember her - not for her political views - but for her forever-sparkle and her deep enthusiasm for life. She truly understood how to live in the here and now, and persuaded me into folk dance. One day I will obtain a big frilly square dance skirt in the brightest of colours and I will wear it and dance with joy in her memory.

Auntie Nyn taught me a lot, she sparkled almost always and she was entirely loveable. I will miss her so very much.

Wed, 07 May 2008 05:16:40 GMT

My teaching week ended a couple of hours ago and on the way home I picked up all but 2 of the ingredients for cocktail testing. This was perhaps a slight error of judgement. You can trace my progress on my food blog. I decided at the outset I would not test all eleven recipes on the one day. Wasn't that wise? So why am I already up to the second drink? The second post on my tipsy progress will have to wait, because I suddenly feel a nap coming on, but it might be worthwhile watching for more posts and wondering why history at school was never quite like this.

Conflux Short Story Competition

Tue, 06 May 2008 02:24:35 GMT

I've been told the first short story has arrived for the Conflux Short Story Competition. I looked at the date and realised that a whole bunch more will be arriving soon. Very soon.

If you haven't thought about what you're writing for it yet, you might want to get a move on. The theme is 'Dreaming.' You can find all the details you need at the Conflux site. Please, please read them before you send anything off to anyone!!

If you know the judges and are concerned that we might hate you for that prank you pulled last year (stealing Trudi's chocolate - never a wise thing) then worry not. We're all reading blind. Let me try that one again. We have an awesome slushmeister who is stripping stories of their author identifications so that friendship or enmity or stealing Trudi's chocolate will not sway us. The others' eyesight is fine - I was half blind before the process started.

Tue, 06 May 2008 01:12:48 GMT

I still need more drink testers. If anyone is interested in getting an advance taste of Conflux, please give me your email address and the number of drinks you're willing to taste in the cause of speculative fiction. There are a limited number of non-alcoholic recipes available, since no-one has expressed an interest in them at all yet.

Mon, 05 May 2008 08:36:49 GMT

I've wanted to be published by HarperVoyager for ages. I love their books. I love the community that is their PurpleZone. I've achieved my dream, albeit in an unexpected and rather food-related way. Their web expert asked if I would write a post for their blog. Which I have. Today a blogpost, tomorrow (or the day after, or the day after that) a book?

You can find the post here. I feel as if I should give you a snark warning.

Sun, 04 May 2008 03:22:08 GMT

I'm three-quarters of the way through my tax. When I finish I have two articles to write. When I finish that I have to get a mega-lot of stuff ready to post tomorrow. In reality, what this means is I'm going to have a hot bath. After all, as long as I finish all that and my regular tasks by midnight, I'm not actually any further behind than I was a day ago. Right?

Sat, 03 May 2008 12:06:55 GMT

It's funny. With all the big excitement in my life this year, I've achieved a quiet day. A quiet day and only moderate pain, too. Almost restful. All I need is to reduce the background grumble to a murmur and finish my rather-due taxes.

The menu for the dinner party I wanted to hold this weekend (the next few months may not be good for me hosting dinner parties) went into my ghost novel. Does that make it a ghost of a dinner party? My characters are about to eat green stuffed chicken and some utterly gorgeous bean and chickpea dishes. Also, they have someone to wash the dishes. Clever characters.

Giant monster mood

Sat, 03 May 2008 02:13:00 GMT

You know that you're in Giant Monster Mood when you keep reading Garema Place as Gamera Place. It would only take the babiest of Gameras to crush Garema Place.

This is the closest I shall come to a useful thought today.

Conflux cocktails

Fri, 02 May 2008 04:26:41 GMT

On Monday I shall email the first set of cocktail recipes for testing for Conflux. Anyone possessed of a vast desire to report on the value of hard liquor mixed with various other things, let me know just how many recipes you wish to trial and give me an email address. I promise not to be judgemental if you test more than three in a night.

Fri, 02 May 2008 00:07:27 GMT

Dashbook has updated since the beta version I blogged about a while ago. It's now getting all kinds of praise. I thought you might like to see what it looks like now that's it's all ready for the universe of small press publishing.

You should particularly admire the shadows from the books on the advertisement, I'm told. Me, I'm admiring the price. Somehow I thought it would cost a lot more.

End gratuitous advertisement.

If anyone else has gratuitous advertisements, now is the time to get them in. They need to be as useful as the Dashbook one, though.

Thu, 01 May 2008 10:08:32 GMT

I grow cold, I grow cold. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled under big thick boots.

I haven't been teaching TS Eliot. Yesterday, in fact, I taught a Gerard Manley Hopkins poem. The students loved it. They could hear the bird's wings beating and the ashes falling from the fire. They had concerns about finding rhythms in their own lives that they could replicate, but confidence will come.

Their joy makes me feel all nice and warm inside. I still need those big fat boots, though: Canberra is cold.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:57:14 GMT

The human eye likes things to look a certain way. This is the only explanation for the announcement of the next CSFG anthology having spread widely with just one change from its original posting. Somehow, my name has been edited and an extra 'l' added. Sorry, Gillian Pollack - someone has tangled you with me yet again.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:44:02 GMT

Justine Larbalestier just posted this, bringing some important things into one place. I can't get "From Little Things Big Things Grow" out of my mind now: this is a good thing.

Wanton thoughts

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:12:53 GMT

My family (two members thereof) gave me their bookmark stash when I visited. I sort-of collect bookmarks, you see. Except it's not a collection: it's an aim. I want each and every one of my books to have its own bookmark. I'm well on the way, but not even close to being there yet. Which is a nice place to be.

When I get given a whole bunch of bookmarks (and I love it when each and every one of them is different, so I can't just go out and get thousands printed and finish the project in one swoop) I choose a shelf and start giving the bookmarks to the books on that shelf.

This is where the fun begins. I rediscover books and remember old friends. Today's bookmarks went into my primary source collection (texts written before 1700) which had been shamefully neglected. I wanted to take each book down and re-read them, but it's too busy a time of year so I just brought one out, to share with you.

It's a 1977 edition of an interlude called "Nice Wanton." I bought it when it was new and I was studying that period. When I moved to the Middle Ages, I forgot I had it. It's just as forgettable now as it was then, and just as much fun.

You can find an online version here and a YouTube version in typically 16th century dress right here:

PS I've thought for a very long time that the English from just after the Great Vowel Shift made a whole bunch of sober and respectable souls sound exactly like Pam Ayres.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:15:24 GMT

I'm home and eating pita stuffed with haloumi. Tonight is the first night of my Medieval Women course. I shall have just enough time to unpack the rest of my suitcase before I print my notes and go out again.

I would say that life has returned to normal, but I'm not sure I know what normal is. If normal is chocolate and books (most the contents of my suitcase) then life is well endowed with normalcy. If life is a bouquet of daisies then it and I have little acquaintance.

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:12:30 GMT

Today is tidbit day.

Tidbit 1:

Someone I know is doing VCR. They're supposed to be doing VCE, but it has transmuted into late night TV watched a week later.

Tidbit 2:

Snippet of phone conversation, about a terminally ill (and much beloved) relative.

'Give her my condolences.'

'I'm writing to her - I can't give her your condolences.'

'Why?'

'She's alive.'

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 09:40:19 GMT

We celebrated the end of Passover with masala dhosai. We also laughed at the feet of Christ, but that was more to do with a favourite Medieval painting than with anything religious (respectful or disrespectful). I would take a reproduction into class on Tuesday, except that there are no women in the picture and my new class is all about Medieval women. My teaching notes are ready and I picked up some nice new resources yesterday afternoon. This means laughter at the feet of Christ is less about Passover ending and more about term beginning?

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:00:35 GMT

Lots of thank yous to lots of friends for lots of birthday wishes.

I had something else to say and it was very witty and sweet and funny, but I'm still recovering from chestnuts and tea and Potter and have lost it entirely. If anyone finds my idea, please pack it up gently and send it home.

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:29:26 GMT

Tonight Mum and I had roast chestnuts and cups of tea for dinner.

It was a light tea because there had been an afternoon tea. More and more relatives join the never-ending social whirl, though I think tomorrow is the last batch for the season. I missed most of the afternoon tea (and three of the relatives), but my mind was fed with the Medieval manuscript exhibition at the State Library and I had spent quality time with kesalemma and seen Lucy (briefly) again.

My day is full of charming accomplishments, in fact. I spent significant time in bookshops and my birthday book voucher is all spent. So is my teaching library budget. My snark budget is still overflowing. My luggage is very healthily heavy, especially since a sister and Emma both gave me yummy community cookbooks for my birthday. I can see a moment upon my return home when someone might have to be the victim of yummy community cookbook recipes. The Kentucky book, my mother observed, uses many tinned ingredients.

Anyhow, there are consequences to roast chestnuts and a big pot of tea. I find myself inexorably drawn to watching Harry Potter tonight.

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:51:43 GMT

Thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes.

I've had a lovely day. It was low key and delightful. For me a day is perfect when I have friends and family round and learn a bunch of new stuff. I stayed in and got to see one in-law, one uncle, two parents, two sisters, three friends and six young people. Tick the friends and family box. A very big tick.

My tall nephew brought in his longbow for me to see. I didn't just see it, I also discovered that (unexpectedly) I could shoot one. We have no idea if I can hit anything, just that my body strength is enough to make it bend sufficently. This was a surprise, as I haven't had much arm strength for years, thanks to the RSI. It just goes to show that the force doesn't come from the arms, or even the shoulders. My tall nephew suggested that one for my height would work well and then we got talking about everything from arrows to how thick targets need to be. I knew the theory of longbows, but the practice is far less intimidating in one way (it's way more manageable than I had thought) and far more in another (it has such force behind it).

My not-nearly-so-tall niece has advanced my education too and I know a bit more about chromosomes and how to understand the work of the human genome project. She's very good at explaining things and the afternoon tea table discussion revolved for a while around men with XXY and women with XXX and men with XX chromosomes. What I particularly loved about this was the discovery that inheritance isn't nearly as stable as it sounded in my high school science class.

I need to find out more about conditions that can turn different traits on and off. My not-nearly-so-tall niece's example was that two generations after a famine, people in a region were shorter. This makes me wonder about the effect of different cultural practices on genetic inheritance. I need to learn more. Much more.

The friends were all especially charming and various relatives seemed very surprised when they told me what fine friends I have. I know I have fine friends, and I also know my mother is amazing, because she welcomes them all and feeds them all and likes them all. Everything came together sweetly today because of her, and that was the best birthday present of all.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 04:33:55 GMT

Melbourne is wreathed in smoke. If I were writing a steampunk novel with London fog and its incumbrances, the atmosphere here would help a great deal. Alas, I'm not, and my face feels flushed and consumptive. In fact, I feel very Victorian all round.

Apart from the smoke, life is wonderful. I just spent a few hours with Glennice Whitting and Wendy Dunn and we talked and talked. I noted a thousand and one things to be blogged, both this morning and last night, but the smoke has fogged my brain and they're all submerged.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:51:08 GMT

Tonight my brother and his wife appeared from Queensland. Lots of computer use was the inevitable result. At one stage my stepfather was talking to *his* brother on the phone and the computer with my brother sitting next to him. Computer troubleshooting and roast chestnuts ensued. In fact, they were the themes of the evening.

Toby, the visiting cat, was distressed that Mum was noting us and not him, so he politely went up to Mum and demanded his moment, then, just as politely, asked to be let out.

What else is happening? Well, Eneit is giving all her top-secret country christening recipes away on my food blog. I'm very grateful to her for this, because work keeps following me and I've been doing my own brand of troubleshooting every evening after the others have gone to bed. I'm certain I would get better faster if only life let me get a holiday with no work for, say, three days, but life doesn't work that way.

Tomorrow I'm going window-shopping and I refuse to say where, so that life doesn't follow me with more work.

PS My early birthday dinner tomorrow is limited to immediate family because - even though one sister and her children can't be there for the meal itself - there are ten of us without getting beyond the next-of-kin level. Four siblings, two offspring, two parents and two spouses. We very seldom get together in larger numbers these days - I'm excited.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:58:07 GMT

Today I spent with family (of course) and with manga. I tried to convince my mother that it was right and proper to read manga during Pesach because you read it (namely the volume I had carefully selected for illustrative purposes) in the same direction as a Hebrew text. She chose a crime novel instead. I've run out of manga now and am rapidly running out of Isabel Allende, too. I'm dropping hints about another visit to the library.

I'm dropping hints about a lot of things (not just books), but not about my birthday. My brother is appearing magically from Queensland on Wednesday (he has a car rally nearby) and much family will be gathering for dinner on Wednesday and I have been promised an orange-almond kosher for Passover birthday cake! I get a pre-birthday party *and* to see my brother and his wife. How good is that!!

I feel I ought to remind everyone else that turning a prime number is a good thing and it behoves us all to enjoy it. I've instructed myself on this already and have quite lost my fear of turning 47.

I've also lost my fear of this virus never receding. Today I'm tired, but the aches have diminished. In fact, by the time I turn 47 I might be entirely over it.