May 31st, 2016

(no subject)

Each day I get a little better, but the things I have to do outpace them. Today I thought "If I have a really solid sleep-in, I'll be fine" but I had two phone calls. I slept in, but not quite enough. I had a nap this afternoon and am less fragile, but I keep forgetting that my body demands loads of sleep and that the everyday is hard work.

Tomorrow I have a big day (an 8 hour day, mainly of medical things) and so on Thursday I shall spend just as much time in bed as I need. If my body won't keep pace with my life, I need to have days when my life is much slower.

My big achievement for today was making a list of all the non-medical things that must be done before the end of June. Now that I'm more convalescent than death-warmed up I have to do stuff I postponed (including my tax, which I hope and pray will give me enough of a return to pay my electricity bill this winter). About 4 hours a week, I calculate. My big challenge will be completing those four hours without pushing my body beyond its limits. I promise, I won't push the body too far - if necessary I shall make phonecalls and postpone some things a bit longer. I want to do everything, however - it's important to me. I shall do them with care and caution and tick them off my lit and feel as if I'm regaining my life.

I have three lists, now: my daily one for medicine and doctor-ordered exercise and etc; my six weekly one to get me through convalescence; and my 'please let me be able to do all this one time!" one. I already have prioritised the latter, so that the tasks affecting other people will be done regardless. I still want to be able to complete it all. We'll see.