June 19th, 2016

(no subject)

This afternoon I'm in the odd emotional position of waiting for triggers (for there are things I'm angry about and comments on any one of them could set me off) and not having the words when the triggers happen.

There are far, far too many horrid things happening in the wider world, and me being quiet about them doesn't mean I don't care. It also means I am very sensitive about small things. My example of the small things in the last few minutes was someone calling a tolerable writer 'brilliant, an international success.' This kind of panegyric is quite normal right now, but helps destroy the sense of writing community in Australia. When a writer is all the amazing things they're called (or the label comes through PR, which is a different situation), that's fine, but Australia's writing scene has got into the habit of privileging a few and ignoring those who are equally good.

This leads to two effects. The first is a lot of wonderful writers are becoming invisible. The second is equally worrying. We have some undeniably superlative writers who deserve all the praise they get and more, but most of the 'genius-writer' tags that fall into my ears are directed to the person in a public place and concern writers who really need to put a little more work in to achieve their potential. They may never have that particular potential (and mostly don't) and may be an entertaining writer who is a sound craftperson. They listen to the praise and decide they're perfect and judge everyone else accordingly and lo, we continue on our merry path to a culture of ordinary storytelling and extraordinary praise.

And it seems I can find words after all. They're not as tactful or as sensitive as my usual words.


I'm about to write a short article. I do wonder how this overflow of emotions will affect it.

I promise that, if anyone drops in this afternoon, I shall not take this mood out on them. In fact, if I write now, maybe I can exorcise it.

PS The overflow of emotions is partly hormonal, partly continuing drowsy rain, but mostly healing having far too much pain these last 24 hours. Sleeping it off helps, but it means I get nothing done. Now that I'm allowed to do things, I find it very frustrating when the best thing for me to actually do is sleep. Healing has to come first, but it's frustrating. I'm allowed just one cup of coffee every day or two, and I'm having it now, just to take the edge off everything.