gillpolack (gillpolack) wrote,

I'm now fully back in the Land of the Lists. I have a big list for today and a growing list for tomorrow. If I can do all the things on both lists, then some of the piling [pressure (from life having gone intersting and me not having been able to do everything at once) will be relieved.

I can't find my stash of butchers' paper for worldbuilding, and my students are learning about worldbuilding tonight. This once, they will learn about worldbuilding using the back of my proof-reading printout of a bunch of essays. They will work in pairs instead of larger groups. This actually works: it's a very big class. At this stage I don't know if the thief stole the butchers' paper (which would be strange because my much nicer map-drawing paper is still perfectly in evidence) or if it simply got buried under something and has not yet been excavated. (I stopped excavating for a couple of days after discovering the last set of losses - I needed to achieve something useful, rather than add to the increasingly strange list of missing objects.)

The great thing that happened yesterday was that I got my perspective back. This fortnight has been unusual and stressful, but, in the scheme of things, I and my friends have been through so much worse. I was explaining to the woman who came to quote for the fix of the curtains that the wonder of being us (middle-aged and female) is that these things are nothing compared with what has already been. She agreed with me wholeheartedly - we coped with that, and we can cope with the current garbage the world flings with us. We swapped stories of dying and dead relatives and about life dramas for about fifteen minutes after she'd done the measurements. It was the opposite of "We'll all be rooned, says Hanrahan," for we worked out what has tried to ruin us and how it failed. If we got through that then March 2012 is nothing.

This is why I'm back to making lists. If I'm not going to turn into Hanrahan, I do need to get control back and meet deadlines and all that kind of thing. And lists are good. When I cross everything off a list, I can recycle that list, which is just lovely.

Today I have a workshop on matters digital. Some weeks ago Sharyn said "You need this." Yesterday I was thinking "It's all too much - I shall skip it." But today it's on my list and therefore do-able. And I shall be much more myself when I'm back in learning mode. Learning, writing, teaching, researching - I need them all if I want to be happy. I am determined to be happy - life's too short to admit of alternatives.

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